My Throat Chakra Healing Journey
The past 2 weeks I have recorded 2 x live sound healing songs and performed one of my poems in front of a group of 40+ people. For someone who has faced a lifelong fear of speaking publicly, how the fuck did I get here?!
You can’t rush the healing journey. Nature isn’t in a rush, so why am I? Well, the answer to that is simple, when I am in a rush, I have temporarily tumbled out of alignment with nature.
My whole life I can consciously remember living out this lie of having a deep-rooted fear of speaking and singing publicly. Now, if you have known me in the past year, you’d probably think I’m lying, because of the way that I am now showing up online, but it has taken me 36 years to overcome, and it’s something that I’m still very much working through.
The roots of this mask of fear stem from various points throughout childhood when I was told that I should be something I’m not, that the authentic essence of who I am at my core is inherently wrong, because it does not fit the mould of societal acceptance. My savageness is too fierce. My expression too bold. My whimsy too weird. My voice not perfect enough. My art not professional enough. Layer by layer, these projections from various figures of authority around me began to build an impenetrable wall of protection around my throat chakra and my true, authentic expression.
In my early years of school I enjoyed performing, but I never felt good enough, never felt talented or gifted like some of the others. By secondary school, I was a cowering mess, and was so terrified of having to speak in front of people that I would purposely skip a class on presentation day. Art, English & Music were the subjects I loved and excelled in at school, and yet my beautiful, strange, creative soul was pushed into academia.
Eventually it broke me. I shut down and stopped creating. If someone asked me who my favourite band was I couldn’t even answer them out of the fear saying something wrong or being ridiculed. I started attaching an identity to “being shy” and allowed this story to play out for many years as I distracted myself from the pain and sorrow with drugs, alcohol and raves.
Being myself scared me because I had become so distanced from the real me. True confidence shines from a place of self-knowing, self-worth and self-assuredness.
So, where did I begin?
My healing journey began with Yoga and eventually transitioned into teaching Yoga, which gave me a container to start creating classes and courses that felt good. It also reconnected me to my body and my emotions, and it also aligned me back on a path of purpose. I remember when I started teaching both 1-1 and group classes 7 years ago, the full-body dread that would consume when teaching a new client or group, I would be shaking, stumbling over my words, feeling like I messed up every time. But I was passionate, so I kept going. This was my journey back into my body. 5 years of practicing Yoga, followed by 7 years of teaching it. It took me 13 years to get to the place of calm, grounded embodiment that I find myself in now, and I feel that I am only just scratching the surface.
Last year and the year before, something snapped inside me, and a voice screamed from my depths “ENOUGH”, I was sick of feeling small, like I was meant to be doing something bigger and more exciting, but feeling looped in a perpetual state of stuckness. So I went ALL IN on my healing. Plant medicines. Multiple witch wound healings. Embodiment coaching. Shadow work. Inner child healing. You name it, I embraced it all, and it was a lot.
This calendar year (2026), I have been solely focused on building the life that I choose. Working hard, taking action, taking my health seriously, moving things in my life forwards, and for the first time ever in my life, all of these decisions are choice that I have made for me, not to please or suit those around me.
Interestingly this has been when the healing has really shone through. Not some big, powerful epiphany in a healing ceremony, but slowly trickling through the integration process. Both singing and writing and performing poetry no longer feel forced, they feel exciting and flowing, and I feel this is the big sign of the healing, it unfolds when I (we) are ready.
Don’t get me wrong, the fear is still there. There is such a long way to go when it comes to expressing my voice through word and song, but I feel thrilled at the thought of this brand new and enchanting journey of opportunity ahead of me. I’ve broken the ice and unlocked a sacred, hidden part of me and I will now nurture with slow, tender love and devotion.
Nature isn’t in a rush, so why am I?
Love & blessings,
Chloe xo
