Lessons from a pit of self-pity & pain
I am just emerging from a pretty brutal 2 days of period pain and total mind-body-soul wipe out. Now, I’m very blessed to have a regular cycle and generally manageable symptoms, but sometimes she just creeps up and takes me by surprise. This was all-encompassing tiredness and pain that I knew was trying to tell me something. The Universe always has this magickal way of clearing out my schedule on the week of my bleed, this week too, although I still had to make some cancellations and re-arrangements. I am now under strict direction from my guides to block off these first 2 days in my calendar every month to devote myself to food and naps (Pippin, my cat, thoroughly enjoyed me face-planting his fluffy tummy for an hour-long midday nap on Wednesday).
Feelings of discomfort, failure and even a little embarrassment came up when I cancelled/rescheduled a couple of bookings - and this is what I really want to share here. It’s acceptable to cancel when we are sick, so why not when we are in pain? Why should a woman’s body be something that is expected to be “controlled“ or even medicated in order to function like a man? So many women are suffering every single month, when really what we need is a dose of compassion, an even bigger dose of rest, and for people to stop telling us how to manage our own bodies.
Sometimes our wombs scream in pain because we really just need a break from people’s bullshit. Women are SO under-rested it hurts every fibre of my being to accept it. Men, if you are reading this: PLEASE take care of the women in your life. Life is an exhausting, confusing, endless cycle of suffering for us as long as we are in this beautiful, feminine body.
Along the path of my spiritual journey some time ago, I used to think that menstruation was powerful and sacred, honestly, now I stand in the belief that it’s a direct attack on women’s magick and sacred energy. I wrote this letter a while ago, and I thought that today would be a fitting moment to share it:
A Letter to the Moon
Bleeding with the New Moon. This used to be such a magickal moment for me, but now what does it even mean? If the Moon represents the Divine Feminine and governs the waters, emotions, and female hormonal cycles, does that make the Moon good… or evil?
And if the Sun and the Moon supposedly stand as masculine and feminine forces, does this not mean that we are accepting, even worshipping, polarity and separation?
Why must women spend the best years of their lives in pain and suffering? Was the Moon created long ago by forces who wished to solidify the end of matriarchal rule by controlling and suppressing the Divine Feminine? Or is the true strength of a woman born through pain and suffering? I am not convinced.
Perhaps the Moon is merely all of the darkness and shadow of the Sun, materialised into a powerful ball of matter. The Sun is a life-giver: an energy generator, giving light, power, warmth, vitamins and growth. What does the Moon give, other than a strong, gravitational, mysterious force and a pretty picture in the night sky?
Sleepless nights and disturbed dreams… It could make one ponder… Is the Moon an energy-taker?
Perhaps I will never know the answer to these questions in this lifetime, but what this pondering has shed light on is that I no longer choose to invest time and energy into that which is not life & energy giving.
